I left Agua Dulce yesterday...in a car. I am off the trail. I woke up this morning at my parents' house and tomorrow I will fly home.
My PCT experience was one I will never forget. There were some great moments, but they were not enough to mask the monotony and loneliness I felt on the trail. As my enjoyment diminished, I felt a growing need to be home. I missed Tom and the boys and the dogs and my pillow and cold soda and... My decision to hike was a selfish one and when the scale begin to tip away from enjoyment and towards the impact it was having on my family and what I was missing at home, it became harder to focus on the trail. Even when my sister was hiking with me, I many times felt alone and bored with the hike.
My expectations and reality were not in sync. Knowing it was an especially high volume year for hikers on the PCT, I had thought it would be hard to find an available tent site or even sneak behind a tree for some business without being seen. In reality I was alone most days and camped alone most nights. That's a lot of solitude for a "people person"!
I kept thinking I would adjust to the loneliness, or connect with other like-minded hikers. I did meet some great people, and leapfrogged with them on the trail. It just wasn't the same as a bond or relationship. At the end of the day, no one knew or cared if you were safe or accounted for. Maybe that escapism is appealing to other hikers. I just felt alone.
I stuck with the trail in spite of these thoughts, knowing it was a good learning experience for me and that I would maybe adjust. I also didn't want to pull the plug too soon, before I fully experienced life on the trail. I honestly feel that I have a pretty firm understanding of the life of a thru-hiker. Yes, the scenery would change, the weather would change, and the other hikers within a day of you might change, but the day-in day-out head down solitary life would be a constant.
I am pleased with how well my body responded to the physical stress of the hike. No blisters except for one deep tissue blister that was absorbed. Of course there was some pain and soreness, but my body held up well and was always ready to hike in the morning...albeit after a slow start most times!
The PCT will probably hold a spot in my heart forever. I would enjoy being involved in it in some way again. Maybe the life of a trail angel would suit me better! I may get the shot at that later this summer when I plan to be in the Pacific Northwest.
I feel some disappointment but I have confidence I made the right decision to abandon my quest for a PCT thru-hike. Thank you for your encouragement, support and for following along on my adventure.